Gaining Confidence in You as You

The world is full of people who are perfect- seemingly. Humans tend to look at perfectionism as a goal that needs to be met now. So maybe goal is the wrong word- unrealistic expectations. 

I've been trying to be better and improve myself. Not the kind of self-improvement where you get down on yourself for not being perfect- that happens without having to think about it. I'm talking about the kind of self-improvement where you know you need to change something and make that critical evaluation to figure out how you can be happy with yourself- just the way you are. 

I read this article on 4 Steps to Building Better Self Confidence:

#1 Know who you are

#2 Surround yourself with people who love you

#3 Make goals achievable and

#4 Focus on the positive not the negative.

Knowing that we are humans and make mistakes and can be okay and get back up and do life after is important to realize about who we are. We aren't expected to be perfect. We try our best. Now that doesn't mean we have to try everyone else's best- it's OUR best. And that best will be different than our neighbor's, siblings, roommate's best. Try to be your best to be your best self and recognize that that's you and that's good enough for today.

I am lucky because I am married to the absolute most amazing man in the entire world. He makes me feel beautiful, smart and successful even on the days I feel the opposite of all of those things. but this is so important to stick around those people who make you feel like your best self, who love you because of you and who make you want to be better without making you feel guilty that you're not already. Find those people in your life who buoy you up, they will be your saving grace, your smile, your reason for being on the hardest days that are sure to come someday.

I've realized that I have these expectations for myself that I may not even know how to achieve and some that I can’t even accomplish right now and it makes me crazy. Goals are achievable and many are long term. Goals uplift us to want to be better and are not to drag us down and make us feel useless. Make goals for down the road that are realistic and in which you've given yourself a realistic amount of time to accomplish the thing you want to do/become. Don't give up, keep going and be kind to yourself as you change and grow.

I look at what I'm not, what I can't do, who I can't be. That is not the attitude to have! This is the disease of perfectionism infiltrating my life and bringing me down. I need to focus on the positive- the here and now- the good and what I can do today. We need not dwell on where we wish we were in school/career, what attributes we wish we had or compare ourselves with those around us. They are on their own personal journey and we have no idea what is going on in their struggle for the person they want to be. We need to be happy to be ourselves and recognize that other people are happy that we are us too.